An update for family and friends in New Hampshire and Maine

I have a lot of family and friends from New Hampshire asking us how we are adjusting to our huge life change, and how each of the children are doing, so I figured I'd write a long post about our happenings here in Corpus Christi, TX

Rhema is thriving in academics here, she has a great support team at her school that helps her on a one on one basis, and has been getting A's on her spelling tests, and we are so proud. As far a social aspect there, she had a very hard time adjusting since she was the new girl, and had a few episodes of being made fun of, but with much prayer and encouragement, she has now found a best friend and is starting to find her way there. I believe i'm dealing with the beginning stages of my girl wanting to become a young lady and all the fun emotions that entails (not!) but God's grace is enough!

Faith was having a very hard time in school. She is so advanced and the academics here are a bit behind New Hampshire, so we decided to pull her out and homeschool her and skip her a grade. So now she is doing Rod and Staff 5th grade and she is thriving. She also is enjoying being part of a huge church and getting one of the main speaking parts in our church christmas play. She has a best friend from church who is either always over, or she is always over there.

Coco is also doing fabulous in school. Dad signed him up for football in August, and his last game was last week, where he went all the way to the Super Bowl, and won! I was proud of his endurance in August and September when the temperature climbed over 100 degrees, and he was still out there playing fully suited up, helmet and all!

Malacai is loving school even though he asks me daily if he can be home schooled haha. He gets on his bus happily and comes home telling me that "hey mom, did you know we can drive to Mexico?" Yesterday he asked me if we could go to mexico since he has a passport now! (This week is world week at his school where all the classrooms pick a different country and decorate and cook according to the traditions of that country--and all the kids make passports and get stickers for every country/classroom they visit) He does ask daily if he can go back to New Hampshire, to his old house, and see (insert one name at various times of the day lol) Nani, Pepe, Uncle Dave and Honey, Katie, Madison, Andrew, Miss Lisa, and many more who he loved. I think out of all the children, Malacai has had the hardest time leaving behind all he knew and loved. He daily reminds us how sad he is to have left. I always ask him if we did move back to NH he would miss Pastor, Amie, Ms Patty, Aiden, Ms Susie, Jenn, Lilly, Becka, Jaci, Alex, all people he's fell in love with here, and who have fallen in love with him (Not that its hard haha)

Gloria-Grace is growing like a weed, and without my friends with little girls (Jen and Ebony) would literally be unclothed! All her 2T clothes do not fit anymore. Its so hard to realize I no longer have a baby girl! She's getting so big and loves to "tend" and play all day. All it takes to amuse her is her imagination. If she didn't have toys, she still would imagine with her hands or rocks. She has a very very strong will and I'm asking the Lord to lead me in the correct way to guide her.

Judah is our lover baby, he loves to snuggle and hates it when we leave the room without him. He's about 2 lbs lighter then Zion which has been about the norm the last few months. I joke around with him that he needs to be tougher with his brother Zion who must steal all his food!

Zion is the adventurous one that always keeps me on my toes. And Judah is always close behind joining in the trouble. They've both discovered climbing and have successfully conquered the kitchen table to the chagrin of his mommy. They both adore Faith because she's their "little Mommy" They both have MAJOR toddler attitudes, and I regret not still nursing them, I'm so used to nursing away my 1 year old tempers, 5 minutes with mommy and milk solved everything! (but thank God for bottles!) For them, its CARS, CARS, CARS and CARS! They have a car in their hands every waking minute! They fight each other over cars, and tackle each other over food. Pulling hair, bitings and screaming is a daily assurance. Thankfully they are so stinkin cute, its easy to laugh at all their antics. (the bickerings of the older kids, now thats a different story! Nothing stresses me out more!) One thing I'm so thankful for is that they are great sleepers! They usually take a 3 hour nap and go to bed at 6:30 and sleep straight to 7:30.

Cisco is extremely relaxed and happy here. I think being the head honcho for 10 years of his young adult life really got to him, not that he didn't excel at it, he did! But that's a lot of responsibility for someone so young, and all of his mentors were far away or distant. The change in him is a refreshing change, and that alone was worth the move. He adores working with Pastor Levell, and leading the young adults. He's almost done his Masters of Theology through Liberty University and will continue on to Masters of Divinity, then Doctorate of Divinity.

I love it here! I love the weather, the beach, the palm trees, the church, and the people. I've never had so many friends and wonderful Moms to fellowship with. There are things I miss though, like having my mom and dad and sisters so close. I miss the mountains and beauty of New England, I miss our 3 story home where I could get away from being a mom for 30 minutes, I miss our neighbors and our quiet street and huge backyard where I never panicked if the children were outside since the road was safe. I miss our best friends Dave and Judy, and all our fun times together. But, I DO NOT miss the snow, the gloom and the pressure. My neighbor is probably my biggest blessing (besides our church) here so far. There's nothing better than a wonderful neighbor who cares for your kids like your own, and even becomes a wonderful friend. I feel content here, and know there's nothing better then being in the Lord's will. My future plans are Lord willing, to become a registered doula and lactation consultant and do some photography on the side.

One thing I asked the Lord for was that someone would teach my children piano. In NH lessons were $25 for a 1/2 hour lesson. Multiply that by 4 children and that's $100 a week, or $400 a month! Not possible! Within a month, I found a friend who teaches my children weekly and refuses to be paid. Rhema, Faith, Coco and Cai are all learning the piano at amazing speeds, and I'm just amazed at the goodness of God who really does give us the desires of our hearts.

In closing, at Thanksgiving, we all went around and said what we were thankful for. We watched the video over again, and we both realized that our four oldest children all said they were thankful for their Pastor and their church. How amazing is that? I know God moved us here for many different reasons, but maybe one of the main ones was for our children to be guided not only by their Father, but also a Pastor and church family who love them. The heavens are open here in Corpus Christi Texas. I've never lived in an area where so many people love the Lord. I can't wait to watch the future unfold in the City of Christ.

So there you go! And update on the going ons of the Victa Clan! I hope no one thinks I'm ignoring them, I've never been busier, so I figured one long post would satisfy and hopefully help cut down on all the questions I don't have time to answer lol :) Love you all!

The Monsters of Monday

By the time the busy weekend is over, I'm ready for a quiet day. But somehow Monday fails me every time. The monster comes out everywhere I look! The dishes spilling out from two days of neglect, the laundry looks like its going to suffocate me, the floor? well lets just not go there. And here I am, weary, tired, ready for a day of blissful nothingness, and yet the monster screams at me, taking on these different forms.

Then there's the overtired kiddos...

(Here's Malacai having a major meltdown

that landed him with some calming juice

and chocolate milk and bed before 6:30--haven't heard from him sense!)

who were in church for 6 hours, neglecting their naps, and therefore think they can neglect them Monday too...Monsters I tell you, cranky, cute, clingy monsters, all of them (ehem---us).

Some day Monday will be nice to me, but for now I'm just glad there's only one Monday this week...

Day 20...the twins...

October 2009 I became very ill. I began suspecting pregnancy right away, and sure enough I had a blaring (and I mean no denying line) on my pregnancy test. I knew my dates could not be wrong, so I immediately began thinking something was up, especially the sicker I became.

When we were dating our friend Paul Springer told us the number of children we would have and that we would have twins. Every pregnancy he would joke until we confirmed that it was ONE baby that this was the time we would have twins. I never really took him serious until those first few weeks of this pregnancy!!! At our church in NH, I had to stop my weekly teaching because I was so sick. I whispered to my friend Lynn why, that I was again expecting, to which she squeezed me and said "ITS TWINS!"

So the sicker I became, the more I joked around with the kids and Cisco that it had to be twins! Around 7 weeks along, I cried out to my Dr. who had delivered the last 2, and was quite familiar with me, (therefore he knew I was NOT a cry baby lol). I told him I was throwing up 12+ times a day. He asked me to come in, and when he examined me, he sent me to ultrasound. I laid on the table and immediately saw three blobs, to which I proclaimed "AHHH, its TRIPLETS!"

But thankfully the 3rd "blob" was just the yolk sac, and the nurse promptly said no, but there are TWO babies, to which Cisco said "TWINS" She was very nice and said "yes, twins means two babies" lol

She scanned me on that table for what seemed like forever. At one point I asked her if all was well, and she sighed and said "I can't find a membrane, the doctor will have to tell you more" So of course I became concerned. I went home and starting googling. Never really a good idea usually, but for me it allowed me to know what to pray against.

You see, there are two types of twins:

1. fraternal (Two separate eggs are dropped during a woman's ovulation, to which two separate sperm fertilize--these types of twins always develop their own amniotic sac and placenta) This is usually hereditary..

2. Identical (One egg drops during ovulation, one sperm fertilizes the egg, and at some point in the cell dividing process, the embryo splits into two separate babies.) With identicals, depending on how early or how late they split will either develop two separate sacs and placentas, or if they split late, they will be in the same amniotic sac and share a placenta. The later being much more of a complicated and dangerous pregnancy.

So that first night on google I realized that I was carrying identical twins, and that they were defined as Mono-Mono twins, meaning they shared the same sac, and the same placenta.

About 2 days after that ultrasound I heard from my Dr. who told me what I already knew. He told me to prepare for a high risk pregnancy, entering hospitalized bed rest by 24 weeks gestation so the babies could be continually monitored. He told me that they split late in the dividing process and that if they would have split one day later, they would have been conjoined twins (Miracle #1) He also told me he discussed my case with his board of Doctors, and they felt the babies had a 50% mortality rate, that being in the same sac was so dangerous because they could entangle each other in each others umbilical cords. (he gave me the analogy of two dogs being tied to the same tree, and what a mess that would be) He also warned me of twin to twin transfusion, meaning since they shared one placenta (one food source) there was a good chance that one baby would get all the nourishment, while the other basically starved...sounds like a positive phone call huh? lol

After that first ultrasound, I had weekly ones to determine the health of the babies. Being so sick I had plenty of time to do nothing but pray. My prayer was this

"Lord, you gave me these babies, you did not give them to me to take them away. If you can create such a miracle as one baby being split into two separate babies, both unique, but both sharing exact DNA, then you can certainly grow a dividing membrane to keep them safe and allow my placenta to nourish them both"

Again I took out Jackie Mize's book Supernatural Childbirth and began reading it over and over and over again.

On my 13th week ultrasound, 6 weeks after the first one, I laid down on the table, preparing myself to be there for a while, when suddenly I hear my Doctor say "Oh my, there's the membrane" I almost jumped off the table in joy and yes even a little bit of unbelief! I made him confirm it over and over again. But there it was, this miraculous whisper of a membrane, the thickness of a sheet of saran wrap, but just enough to keep my babies safe from each other's cords. Praise the Lord (Miracle #2)

The rest of my pregnancy was pretty much miserable. I was huge, I had no appetite, I had horrendous heart burn, nausea, and couldn't sleep from being so uncomfortable. At 35 weeks I was put on hospitalized bed-rest for the last weeks for the beginning of pre-eclampsia. God bless my husband and his father who held down the fort with 5 little ones!

At 36 weeks they felt it was time, so I was induced and was able to give birth naturally after a 6 hour labor. Both boys cried and nursed right away, a miracle for twins, and boys at that, born 4 weeks early (miracle #3)

I wish I could give you an account of their first year but I'd be lying if I said I remembered much of it. It honestly was a blur! I went through the blues, insomnia, nursing issues, and so much more, but the fact is I MADE IT! (miracle #4!) I was able to nurse both of them for 9 months and they both received my milk for at least one feeding a day till their first birthday (miracle #5!)

There were five, okay, six things I could not have made it through without (no judging here!)

1. The Lord, he truly was my Solid Rock and my Refuge

2. My husband who never left my side, and was always there to help change diapers, burp babies, and so much more...

3. My older children who were a big help in so many ways (thank you Katie, Faith and Rhema!)

4. My best friend Amanda, who also had twins the same age as mine. It was such a comfort knowing she was just a text away to complain to, ask a question, ask for prayer, share the cute things our babies were doing and to just be there...

5. PopPop and MomMom who helped so many different times, I don't know a grandfather alive who would take on what PopPop did--even so far as watching them when they were 10 months for an entire week when we were given a timeshare at disney!

6. (here comes the no judgment part): the occasional glass of wine for those extra stressful days and nights. I joke around with friends and say I never tasted alcohol before the twins, but really I meant it. I thank the Lord I allowed my mom to talk me into drinking an occasional glass at night to calm me down, de`stress me and allow me to rest up for the next full day (Love you Mom! :)

So there it is in a long nutshell...the twins are now 17 months old. Judah we call the sensitive lover. He is always second to do things. He cut his first tooth 2nd, he sat up second, crawled second and walked about 2 months after his brother took his first step. He loves to be cuddled, especially by the men in his life...daddy, pop pop, pepe and pastor lol. He's a true daddy's boy and falls on the floor in a complete mess of tears when daddy walks past him or leaves the house.

Zion is the daring one. He always stands in his highchair, went from walking to running in days, and has a sparkle in his eye that screams mischief. His favorite thing to do is make his brother laugh. (See video)

Even though at times my life is crazy, and some days I wonder if the volcanic mountain of laundry will consume me with its spilling over lava, I can't help but focus on the blessings.

7 healthy beautiful children, each unique, each a miracle...

I'll finish this post with two recent pictures of the boys and a link for pictures of their first 12 months...thank you for reading and encouraging me with your words, it means so much to know that my writing is blessing others, even in small ways!

Link to pictures:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2132004938337.2119224.1192416097&type=1&l=df299eac78

Day 17...Marriage and sanity

Tomorrow, I'll write more about the twins. But tonight I must preface their last year and tell you how grateful I am with the fact that we are still married! That may sound like a joke, but its not!

Now we've come through some challenges the first 10 years of our marriage, challenges most would have fallen away after enduring, but none so hard as the year and a half of the pregnancy and first year of the twins life. We truly felt like we were deserted. I know that sounds almost comical as we both have lovely families. And its not like the people in our lives
then are not in our lives now, most are, but God had them busy in their own lives, for in His sovereignty, He knew that in order for us to move into
His will and the next phase of
our life, He had to strip everything and everyone from
us, allowing us to depend completely on Him and each other.

There were moments after months of being up more than not at night with two fussy hungry boys, and unending days of 4 in diapers that we would, in desperation and exhaustion, look at each other and wonder if we'd make it without hurting someone.

And we did...we are alive, and happy. Happier then we have been in a long time, stronger in our relationship with God,
each other, and our children, and I am so grateful... for to us, we take the words of Pastor Timothy Keller to heart, and I'll leave you with them:

"The essence of marriage is a public, permanent, exclusive legal commitment that says:

"We're spending our life together and sharing every part of our life with each other"
Therefore the essence of true love is a commitment first-- to invest in someome else and meet their need--and a feeling second-."

I love you Babe :)

Day 16...Gloria-Grace Treasure

Gloria-Grace Treasure Victa, a true package of all three...Glory, Grace, and a sweet treasure.

Gloria was a complete bonus surprise! I was so happy with my baby Cai that I didn't even consider another, 2 boys, 2 girls what a perfect family! but God again had other plans. Her entire pregnancy was a joy, I was rarely sick, rarely tired, and her birth itself was miraculous. I had an eight hour labor and throughout the entire 480 minutes I didnt feel one bit of pain. I laughed and talked through the whole thing, and when she arrived it was after one push, and I was holding this wide eyed beauty. After a birth like that you can only say one thing, the glory of the Lord and His grace was there :)

Over the last three years, she has been Daddy's little shadow. She has him wrapped completely around her little finger, even to the point that he sacrificed some college loans to pay for a trip to see the desire of her heart, Cinderella and her castle.

When the twins arrived I was sure I was in store for some jealousy, but G-g just was like "hey, I know you two are here, but I ain't letting you take my place, I'm still the baby, I'm just a princess" lol. A princess for sure, but one who's not afraid to let her will be known. We say she has to be tough, after all she's sandwiched between FOUR boys! What else can I say? She's a grace filled glorious Little Sprite, and we are so grateful for our Treasure!

Day 15...Malacai Phillip (Happy Birtday!)

‎7 years ago around this time of year, we began trying again for a baby. Never did I think
It would be so hard. After a year, I gave up all hope thinking I was suffering from secondary infertility. People mistakenly think if you've had a baby then for that you should be grateful and that if you desire more, but can't have them, then you are seen as greedy not grieving...infertility in any form is a heartache no woman should have to bare...

Someone gave me the book "Supernatural Childbirth" by Jackie Mize. Over the next 4 children, I can safely say that the book changed my life.

The following February I discovered I was with child. I was so overjoyed. But 3 weeks after getting the plus sign, I began miscarrying.
I was heartbroken, i wanted another baby so bad, and to have lost this baby after a year and a half of trying was devastating..but again I took out the Mize book and began quoting the scriptures that blessed is the fruit of my womb and many many more. Next month I was pregnant with Malacai.

At 16 weeks and again at 30 weeks I had preterm labor and bleeding. During these scary times I'd pull out my Bible and my book and one verse I'd say over and over again:

"And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast its fruit before the time in the field, saith Jehovah of hosts." (Malachi 3:11 ASV)

(one interpretation of this verse, and the interpretation Jackie Mize uses is this: that the Lord is saying through his prophet Malachi, that if you are a tither he will rebuke Satan, and cause your fruit to not die, and to not come off/out early)

So during those frightening hospital visits, I quoted this scripture, for we have always been tithers and always will be...

Malacai was born healthy exactly 5 years ago today. His name means "My Messenger, and "Cai" means "rejoice"

He's all boy! He loves life and has the IQ of a 3rd grader in k-4. I wouldn't be surprised if some day he's a programmer at Apple for he's never met a game, computer, phone or iPad that he hasn't mastered yet. He keeps us laughing daily at the things thar come out of his mouth! He's bluntly honest and I could fill a book with the things he's said that make me blush haha

But when you look into his eyes you see Christ. His eyes are so full of wisdom, compassion, love, gentleness and kindness (and occasionally mischief!) 5 years later he makes us all rejoice, for he truly is a messenger to me, and I'm so grateful for him!

Day 14...Francisco Victa the Fourth (aka: COCO)

So, Coco...let's start with his Nick name. We get asked a lot, Why Coco? Well with four Francisco's and all of them still living, we felt he needed one, so we went through Nio, Franky, Francis, and when none of them fit, we said forget it and called him Francisco, but his very talkative sisters (age 3 and 2) could not pronounce it and it came out "Coco" lol. And it stuck. :)

I was so happy to have my boy after 2 girls, we were both on cloud 9, although he made his arrival 2 weeks late, and weighed in at a whopping 9lbs 15 oz! (and yes I delivered him naturally) He was so late he cooed in his hospital bassinet while meeting his Daddy. But through those first 6 months, I'd frequently hear a voice that he wouldn't be with us long, and I'd rebuke the fear and pray. I finally voiced it to my husband, and he said he also had heard that "voice"...so again we prayed.

On January 31, 2004 both of us got a terrible stomach bug, the worst we've ever had. I was recovering as Cisco was getting worse. I was finishing up nursing Coco when Cisco called me to come help him. Coco was asleep in my arms, so I placed him quickly in his swing, forgetting to buckle him in, to go help Cisco. After a few minutes I had a strong premonition to go check on him. When I did, I found that he had obviously woken up and attempted to get out of the swing, only he had a t-shirt type bib on, and as he scooted down, it caught on the swings crotch bar, hanging him. I found him lifeless, a blue ragdoll not breathing...you can imagine my complete shock and horror. I screamed to Cisco who called 911, and starting saying the name Jesus over and over. I had enough sense to start CPR, and thankfully we lived within a mile of both the local fire department as well as a small emergency room. They were in my house in 90 seconds. They saved his life (up untill our move, every time we went to that emergency room, they would ask about "their miracle child") anyways, they stabilized him, then flew him to Boston's Children's Hospital where they told us he would have brain damage from lack of oxygen. My parents and family met us there and immediately started a huge prayer chain, calling everyone who believed in the power of prayer...we spent 6 days there, our baby going from complete sedation, being told be had bleeds on tbe brain and on a respirator, being told he may not come out of it to being discarged with a perfectly healthy baby boy...can you tell we believe in the power of prayer??!

Coco is 8, and is a Daddy's mini-me. He has an amazing talent for anything athletic, and is also a great break-dancer...

We almost lost him, he could have suffered brain damage (though sometimes i do wonder-like when he was 7 and he cut his sisters beautiful blonde ringlets all off!!! What was he thinking??!! Haha) But I know God has an amazing future for him, why else would the devil try and take him out early? He's a special boy, and we are so thankful God won, he's alive and ours, and we are truly grateful

Day 13...Faith Abigail

oday is Faith's "Thankful" day ;) they are enjoying reading these themselves!

(You'll see a recurring theme over the next few days, the devil tried to destroy our seed at the beginning, for I truly believe he knows their future is so great)

So here goes...When Rhema was 4 months, we were sitting in church on a Sunday in Groveland Florida. Sis
Judy Langley began singing "Faith, faith, faith, just a little bit of faith" and I had a vision of a young girl with long black hair laying her hands on the sick and they were being healed. I remember squeezing Rhema as a confirmation that it was her, but I heard a voice say,
"no, she will also do greatness, but this one you see is another, you will have a baby girl and name her Faith, for she will increase your faith" About 3 weeks later I found that against all medical "odds" I was pregnant.

At our 20 week scan, they told me our baby girl had a growth in her brain, and that she would either be born with down syndrome or severe mental impairments. We had a follow up scan at 28 weeks, And I tell you, those were some of the hardest weeks as we waited. In our fear, we also had faith, and believed that God spoke to us about this child that we felt was supernaturally given to us.

Well, If you know Faith today, you know shes one of the brightest children, a child who at 4 was giving her Dad a discourse of why Judas betrayed Jesus and how although wrong, was part of the sovereign plan of God...I've never met a child who is so wise beyond her years, and at the same time burdened by this wisdom, this knowledge, for she takes things like world poverty and human suffering to heart. I thank the Lord for leading me to homeschool her this year, daily praying for those burdens she carries. Slowly i see her able to trust in the Lord and search her Bible (and pick her Dad's brain). As her Mom-Mom says "she's an old soul" and her Pop-Pop says "she's like talking to an adult, I can't pull one over on her like the others!!!" :)

Faith is my big helper and the twins second mommy, a blessing to us in such a tiny body (with that long black hair)...I truly believe the days are upon us where we will see her exercising those healing gifts i saw 11 years ago, for at no other time have we as a family been more hungry for the move of God, and in a place where so many others are as well...so watch out, we may just be raising the next Kathryn Kuhlman, and for being entrusted with such a girl, we are truly grateful...

Day 12...Rhema Summer

Today I'll continue my thanksgiving month with the start of each of my children beginning with the oldest, Rhema. When Cisco and I were engaged, we both had to go to that lovely pre-marriage Dr appointment, where we were both told our chances of having a baby were slim since Cisco had a severe case of the chicken pox at 19. So you can imagine my surprise when 3 months into our marriage, we discovered we were pregnant :) (miracle #1 of many...)

Cisco was convinced the baby was a boy, and even stood up in a service declaring that we would have ourselves a preacher. When I delivered, my husband and mom were both whispering "here he comes" then as she made her way earthward, the midwife declared it's not a he it's a she! We were both in love instantly, by 9 months we questioned our name choice, as "Rhema" means "spoken word" in Greek, and she was already saying words like "hi" and "bye". People in the grocery store would hear "hi" and stare in disbelief at the baby still in the infant carrier that was talking, and she hasn't stopped since!

When she was 12 months, I noticed she had a large bump on her back. I showed my mom and we were all concerned. Her pediatrician made us an appointment with a spine doctor, who told us she had a severe case of scoliosis and would need immediate disk fuzing surgery or be fitted for a brace she would wear 24 hours a day till she was 16. At that point we were too stunned (and young!) to make such a drastic decision. We asked if we could have time to pray and think about it. The Dr gave us 6 weeks. In those 6 weeks we prayed over her daily and every night as we laid her down, we believed for a miracle. After those 6 weeks, we brought her back and she had one more X-ray, the dr came in and held up the old one to the new one and just shook his head, declaring a miracle even though he was an atheist. She has had yearly check ups ever since and her spine remains perfectly straight. What an amazing God we serve!

Now at 11, she is blossoming into a beautiful young lady with a heart of compassion and a gift for hospitality. She sings like and angel and has the emotions of a...ehem...lol. I wouldn't be surprised if someday she does become that preacher after all, we love her so much, and for her we are truly grateful...

Day 11...Elf!

‎"who sent this Christmas Gram?" "what's a Christmas gram? I want one!"

Today I'm thankful that year after year Elf never disappoints haha

Day 10...Crafts and heart talks

Tonight we had a family meal then all did a craft...we cut out maple leaves and let the kids color 3 each, then they wrote what they were thankful for on them:

Rhema:

*God

*My parents, that they give me what I need

*My Life

Faith:

*That my parents lead and guide us to Life in Christ
*That God protected us on our move, And gave us great friends here in Texas
*for all my family and friends

Coco.

*I'm thankful for Jesus

*I'm thankful for batman cause he's a good hero.

*For Everything.

Cai.

*Im happy for my birthday.

* I'm happy for Christmas.

* I'm happy that we moved to Texas.

Gloria-Grace.

*I love Cinderella. (what else?)

*Belle.

*The castle.

All the above verbatim and spoken from the heart hahaha

I laminated their masterpieces, punched wholes and strung them up on our curtains...a great family craft for the month of Thanksgiving!

Day 9...beautiful quote...

"Motherhood is a life of sacrifice; it is a life poured out to our children...Children are not a burden to escape or endure; they are a blessing that drives us to Christ because we are incapable of parenting without Him"

Day 8...Growth and the Duggars

Today, I'm thankful for growth and change...I'm too sleepy to say a lot, but I'm grateful that God is yielding my heart to hear Him more and placing tools and books and examples in my path to stretch me and challenge me to mirror the wife and Mama I desire to be, a Proverbs 31 woman...and while I'm no where near close, I at least have something to shoot for and the "tools" I feel to get me closer...one day at a time, one moment at a time, I'm learning...

oh and and since it's been a day for discussing the Duggars, I'll also say how thankful I am for their example and their books that continually challenge me to train my children in the Lord, and to see that it IS possible to parent without yelling...now if I could only get through one day...stat tuned this may just be the month haha

Day 7...MomMom and PopPop

I'm thankful for this last week and a half with PopPop and MomMom. I've changed less diapers, washed fewer dishes, eaten out a lot, and have actually been able to sleep in. They are the best grandparents, spend so much quality time with the kids, (I mean actually tell them bedtime stories, and sleep with them!) they have so much patience, and love us all unconditionally, please don't leave!!! And if you have to, come back asap, and better yet move here! We love you and for all you've done and for who you are, I am so thankful!!

Day 6...My Husband...

Today I'm thankful for my husband, who has always puts me first, and has loved me unconditionally. We met 16 years ago as freshmen in Bible college, classmates for the first few years then we discovered we were soul mates.

He still gives me butterfly's even after all these years and 7 children later lol and there's no one I'd rather spend my time with. We love to laugh together and are each others best friends. The road to where we are now has not always been easy, and there were times we didn't think we could go on, but we always pulled each other through and became stronger.

So Babe, thank you for loving me and continuing to challenge yourself to never be content where you are and how you are always looking to become better and stronger and never settling for mediocrity, both in your spiritual walk and as my leader and father to our children...I was made for you, you were made for me, and together we are one amazing team, and for that I'm truly grateful...

Day 5....My Mom and Dad...

For my frazzled mind (no!! I do not have it all together, though that is one of my short term goals I write on my "new years resolution" list Every. Single. Year)

So, I'm going to go in order so I don't forget anyone...so since I used yesterday for my grandparents, today I'll write about my parents...Dan and Carolyn Hashem. Just writing their names fills me with a mixture of love, pride, and homesickness. You see, my dad grew up in poverty and abuse. What he has today he worked for, and gave for. Never have I met a man who gave more than my father. I remember the time i came home from school and all our living room furniture was gone. Someone was in need, and he met that need. He worked so hard to put food in our bellies and give us the childhood he never had.

When people would come over our house, they were always made to feel like it was their home. We all had friends that never wanted to leave. And that was always okay with my parents. My dad would make them Heavenly omlets and anything else they asked for or didn't ask for! You walked through the door and were hit with a peacefulness and love, and a homey smell that can only be described as "home sweet home".

My mom is 70 (don't hate me mom, please!) and doesn't look a day over 50. She glows with love and contentment. Many people marvel as she raised 8 children (and many more who needed a home) but that's what kept her young
for they truly are her joy. Even at 30 I would go home for a few days and my dad would make me breakfast every single morning...one pancake at a time so it was hot as I ate it. Mom would buy me a special little gift for my burnt out soul, and I'd leave feeling refreshed and renewed ready to take on my tribe again.

So I'm thankful for my parents. For the white-picket fence childhood they gave me, and for the counsel and love
They still give me...no one will ever replace them and I pray every day that they'll live to be a 100 for no other couple deserves long life more than them, they honored their own parents to the day they passed and continue to honor their Pastor and wife, and be a blessing to countless others and their 8 children who are ALL serving the lord as well as
their 23 grandchildren. Their legacy is one you do not see every day, or even every century...and to be a part of it, I'm truly grateful.

Day 4

Today I am thankful for grandparents. My grandparents were two of the most loving and hardworking people. Many, many of my childhood memories are wrapped up in everyday moments with my Nanny and Grandpa as we called them. Coming from a family of 8, my Nanny and Grandpa would come over if not daily, every other day to help my Mother. My Nanny would do our laundry and ironing and I would sit beside her as she ironed with my child sized ironing board, metal toy iron and either doll clothes or my grandpas hankies.

Back when i was a kid, cereal boxes would always come with some cool toy and sometimes iron-on decals. Those are the ones I insisted onfought my sisters over because I had a very special place in mind for those super-man logos...my grandpas hankies lol. As my nanny would iron, I'd press my toy iron against hers to get mine hot, and go to work on those special handkerchiefs. My grandpa would act so surprised when he knew I was watching and he'd pull out his hanky to fake a sneeze just so I could see his "surprise" at his formerly white hanky sport in a superman sign

This is just one of the many special memories I have, some day I'll share more, but it was their legacy they shared with my parents, that got passed down to me and my siblings that I'm most thankful for. The many prayer meetings, the hugs with whispered prayers, the singing and joy...I thank God for them and am so grateful that my children have many memories themselves of their special grandparents on both sides and are even now at this moment creating memories that will be with them when they are grown..."Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their Fathers" Prov 17:6

Today I am thankful for
Gods leading. Having already taken Faith out of public school and seeing such a positive change in her, I've been praying for a clear cut direction from the Lord about each of the other children, as I don't believe what's best for one is "always" best for the rest, kwim? Recently my heart has been heavy for my oldest, Rhema, knowing she's needing something...something more than what she's getting and its majorly showing in her attitude. Today, I walked in to Mardels with my husband, and I know how he can get lost in this "Walmart-sized" bible book store (haha) so i
tell him I'm going to browse the schooling section. While walking the aisles, the manager of the store asks me if I'm finding everything, I reply yes, he then asks me if I'm a teacher, I say I homeschool. He says "do you want some stuff for free?" (and sorry for my negative attitude here, but initially I thought "must be junk they just want to get rid of" lol.) But I humored him and said yes! I followed him and he shows me 3 huge bins of books, materials, and lessons...all free. I
walked out of the store with over $500 worth of homeschooling supplies, DVDs and books for free, a huge smile on my face and assurance in my heart that yes, God is leading me. One step at a time, one child at a time, I seek to serve the Lord, and know He's patient enough to lead me the way He knows I'll listen and "get it", and for that I'm truly grateful...

Before I get down to the sentimental family stuff Im sure this month of thankfulness will bring, I'll say how greatful I am for a wonderful neighbor. Leaving Milford, one of the hardest things for me was leaving behind my neighbors. It was so hard that I refused to say goodbye... Her kids were my kids, and my kids were hers. We borrowed sugar, switched babysitting, decorated cupcakes, and celebrated birthdays. We chased down our barefooted kids as the speeded off in their bikes without helmets and our closets were filled with each others kids shoes, mittens and hats lol... For the first weeks in this new house there'd be times I'd yell at the kids, "just go to the neighbors!" then realize what I said and choke a laugh out instead of crying in front of the kids. When we skyped them the first time and heard their voices in my kitchen I sobbed, the ache was too much. Then finally i met my new neighbor, and her oldest son hit it off with Coco and Cai, and while I still miss my neighbors from NH (and they promised to come visit ehem!) my heart is comforted to know I can walk to a friendly face and borrow batteries or salt if I need to. And so while they'll never be replaced, the void is a bit lessened knowing I'm blessed again to have a wonderful neighbor and friend, and for that I'm thankful...

The beginning of 30 days of THANKSGIVING!!!!

I'm going to start my 30 days of thankfulness with how greatful I am for a new start and a fresh beginning, and that my husband had enough backbone and faith to make such a huge move with his small tribe. It hasnt always been easy, and the road had quite a few bumps, but we know we are in His perfect will, and that alone makes me happy. :)

A moving prayer

I know we are called. I know we are meant to be in Texas. I know God is opening doors, windows and skylights. I know He is orchastrating details and fitting the pieces of the puzzle of our lives perfectly. All I ask Lord is that the ache in my heart for my kids will lessen. They are leaving behind all they know to be constant and secure. Memories, their home, their big back yard that's been a treasure chest of adventures...frogs, fallen logs to ballance on, crows to scare, deer to silently watch, rocks to climb, swings to soar, woods to explore, wildflowers to pick, mudpies, colorful, bright leaves to rake and jump in, snowmen to create...then there's their friends and neighbors who feel more like family then mere street sharers...family, cousins, grandparents, family vacations at the lake, and so much more...

Give me wisdom to say the right words to them, and the patience to continually ease their fears. Give me extra love and grace to always find the strength to offer one more hug and and one more reasurring smile. They are Your children before they are mine. You care for them so much more than I ever could. You have their best interests at heart and know their future is bright. I trust You, I move forward with joy and anticipation knowing this is Your leading, and where You lead and we obey, there are blessings to be found. So thank You for the peace that passes all understanding, both in my heart and in my babies hearts, amen.

one year ago today...

My life changed forever...I became the mom of multiples. The day started early, as I was already in the hospital on bed rest and had been for over a week...I walked to the labor room with all the dark predictions of my doctors flying around my hormonal head, I would need a blood transfusion, my blood type was on hand, I more than likely would need a csection, the babies would probably have breathing issues, I would have a challenging time breastfeeding twins...the walk of 300 feet seemed like a mile. I can remember screaming in my head "ALL is WELL!!! If God can supernaturally grow a membrane to keep my babies safe, He CAN and WILL cause all things to work together for mine and my babies good!".

Eight hours later after a quick and difficult labor, I was holding two beautiful pink baby boys, with a head full of dark hair, who both latched on right away and breathed and cried with gusto.

This year was the hardest year of my life. And while I could cry and say I should have had more help, or i should have just mortgaged our house and hired help, I wouldn't change a thing knowing what I know now.

Two years ago if someone woud have told me that God allows challenges and trials in your life to teach you something, I would have called them a heretic...how could an all loving God be a scitzo lol. But if I had all kinds of help, If all the people who promised they'd come over and change diapers and help with late night feedings actually DID come, I wouldn't have had to trust in God and Him alone to bring me through day by day (and most days it was minute by minute)

If me and my husband got through this year by ourselves, this year of four in diapers, sleepless nights when you looked at the day before you and realized you have 8 others depending on you to stay awake, feed them, clothe them, clean up after them all on 3 hours of sleep, day after day then we can literally go through anything that the world shoves at us, as long as we are together...

I made it almost 9 months breastfeeding both babies, I got through all the sleepless nights, all the diaper changes where I had an assembly line going, I made it through the heartbreaking leaving of our oldest adopted daughter, the challenges of being married to a full time pastor, and having a son diagnosed with special needs...

And I'm alive, and more importantly I know who I am and who I am not...I am first a child of the most high God, He is my Abba Father, the Shepard of my soul, the lover of my heart...Second I am a very blessed wife of the best man in the world, he completes me, fulfills me, and treasures me, third I am a mom of many blessings who are my daily joy and my God calling... With those three, I am complete, without them I'd be lost.

So happy first year my baby boys who even though you don't talk, don't walk, make huge messes, and still depend on me for everything, have taught me more than the greatest scholars...you are my blue-eyed heavenly messengers who whisper to me daily that I can do ALL things through CHRIST who has never failed to strengthen me, and who will continue to strengthen me. I can with all confidence move into this next season of our life, this giant leap of faith, moving our family away from everything they know and love for the sake of the calling...

I'm snuggling your curly hair that smells like sweet baby, squishing your chubby thighs and kissing your soft cheeks, you are my reminder that I am loved, my angel whisperers, my identical baby boys of destiny, happy birthday Loves...I celebrate you...

Mother's Day 2011

Rhema: you are developing into a beautiful young lady. I love your voice, when you sing, tears come to my eyes every time.

Faith: you are a pint sized power house of intellect and wisdom. Many times you shock me with your reasoning. You are my big helper, and I love your heart that strives to please...

Coco: what can I say? You are all boy, but I wouldn't have it anyother way. And while you frustrate me with your constant complaining and bad attitude, I'll turn around and see you loving on your baby brothers or kissing GGs boo-boo...

Malacai: you are my gentle giant. Your feet pound the floor as you run :) Your eyes pour out compassion and love, and your hugs are the best!

Gloria: you are the impitamy of a princess girl! You will run away causing much frustration then run right back and kiss me or dad as hard as you can with so much passion its impossible to stay mad! You adore makeup, Cinderella, and shoes!

Judah and Zion: you are the light of my life, watching you interact is better than the best tv show out there. You are my two chubbub little men who give me so much joy!

Babe: thank you for making me a mama almost 11 years ago, you gave me the best 7 gifts of all. I love you and am happy to be by your side.

Mom: thank you for giving me the best example to live by. I love you, you are my best friend.

God: I know I fail many many times, I know I yell too much, I loose my cool, I can be too self centered, I second guess my decisions and sometimes want to run away, and as my mom says when I do take a break, and it comes to an end: "it's back to reality" ...But I wouldn't trade my reality for all the riches of this world. So while I fail miserably at mothering at times, Your grace is sufficient in my weakness, and I thank You for seeing fit to bless me abundantly, may I always strive to be more like You and be the best mother to my 7 blessings I can be...

Disney Trip

So we were blessed with a trip to Disney, we surprised the kids today and left 2 hours later! :). Weve kept it strictly under wraps till today!!! I'll upload video later of their reaction haha..

Arriving at the airport, Gloria hears classical music playing and says "I hear Cinderella!!! Let's go see her!" I cannot wait to see her expression when she gets her hearts desire to see Cinderella's castle!


God truly grants the desires of our hearts, no matter how small that heart is

Seeking the Martian Code

Dear Lord,

Show me how to crack the code of Mars, cause Im tired of all the misunderstanding that comes from talking with my martian husband. I say one thing and it sounds perfect and makes complete sense, and it comes from my heart...I say it in Venus, but somehow when he hears it, he hears it in Martian!!! and I don't know how to speak Martian!!!! I try hard, but as hard as I try to get the languange down, I simply can't do it in my own strength...you created these Martian men to live alongside of us Venus women, so please give me Your wisdom to crack this Martian code before I crack myself...(or his head)

In Your name,

Amen

A cry from the heart

Who through this avails
Lost loyalty
Sighs from much betrayl
How can this be

Yet You calm the storms
That rage all around
a song of praise still forms
For Your faithfulness abounds

And we sing to you
Cause it's all we can do
When we doubt we'll make it through
It's You we look to

You had a plan all along
A valley for us to walk through
Even with all the wrong
You're grace will make all new

So for now we will ask
That some memories will fade
It's not an easy task
But our burdens we have laid

And we will choose to see
The beauty all around
Who you've destined us to be
Is still waiting to be found

So our hearts are filled
With both joy and sadness
Your will be fulfilled
Your blessings are countless

One step at a time
Onward we will move
This mountain we will climb
Our lives you'll improve

You silence our enemies
You are our defender
All darkness flees
And we completely surrender

My baby boy is 4, and he's always been special. He recognized his letters and said them, both upper and lowercase at 18 months, but never spoke words until he was 3. He could buckle and unbuckle things at 1, and therefore his favorite toy was his sisters highschool musical helmet.

Then he graduated to cars. His matchbox cars had to be a certain style, and they always had to line up just so, and no one was allowed to touch them. He loved anything to do with video games...he would be 2 and mastering Curious George games on the computer that were meant for 5 year olds.

Yet at 3 he didn't tell us when he went outside, and we'd realize he was missing, only to find him up the street staring at the street drain...so I had a security system installed. Not because I felt our neighborhood was unsafe, but because the doors would chime to tell me when they opened and which door he left from.

We could leave him for the evening with a person he barely knew, and as long as they met his needs and his routine was not disrupted, he wouldn't even notice we were gone. He can master an ipad/iPod/iPhone and even watch/read instructions in Chinese. He masters Xbox lego games that are meant for 8+ year olds, and then will refuse to play it anymore lol. And yet he's my first to clear his plate, and throw away his trash, and put his clothes in the laundry. He likes things "just so" and despises having people invade his space.

One time me, my sister and my mom went to the beach and all the other kids would sit by us and if they walked away would make sure they knew where we were. Not Cai. He'd just walk away to explore...and he did. All 3 of us screamed at once, "where's Cai?" my heart stopped, I thought for sure id lost him in the sea of people, strangers he had no fear of...it took 10 minutes of looking between umbrellas and sandy bodies, and we found him staring at the playground 500 yards away from where our blanket was...See? He's special.

But tonight I felt I was special. He was upstairs playing his toy story game and I had to rock Zion to sleep. All the other kids were outside playing basketball. He realized he was alone, and started calling my name. When I didn't answer, he got louder. I finally got Zion to sleep and when I came out he was staring at the door crying. I picked him up (not an easy task, he's 4 and the size of a 6 year old!) and he put both hands on my face and said "you not answer, I could not find you" my heart rejoiced, not at his sadness of course, but that he was finally aware that I was "here". I, his mama, am his safety security.

I always wondered what would happen if he got lost at a store or a fair. Would he even notice? But now I know. Yes he would, and I am so glad. Yeah he is special, but I love him more than words can express. And someday, he'll either be a softhearted running back, or a programer for Apple. Either way he has a bright future and we celebrate him :)