Our Faith Abigail turns 11 tomorrow

Faith Abigail Victa, just her name alone screams volumes about who this wonderful child, this beautiful young lady is.  She is a little girl of great faith.  There are many times I catch her saying "oh thank you Jesus" when most girls her age would say "oh jeesh, that was close". lol.   In these moments, she reminds me so much of my Nanny, who also was a woman of great faith.

Faith, you are a joy to those you meet and those around you.  Always seeking to help and be a servant to others.  You are usually the first to ask if people need help, and the first to offer your assistance, no matter how great or how small...it means so much to me to see you growing in the Lord and in your character.

You are our brown bear as we've always called you.  And you are gorgeous Faith, but really, it's your insides that shine the most.  And I've always told you, that is the most important!

I thank God for you, our little girl who is not so little anymore.... but you will always be our baby frog no matter how big you get :)

Happy Birthday Faith Abigail.  I'm sorry I couldn't make your video.  I promise to do it this month! Can't wait to celebrate you tomorrow!

Love Mommy

Baring my Soul~my journey to the decision of Homeschooling my brood...

Home schooling has always been something that I've had an internal battle with.  I am not a die hard homeschooler, neither am I a proponent of the public school system.  I have spent countless hours doing a mental negative and positive check list for each choice.  

I home schooled our children up until the year I had the twins.  Having 4 in diapers didn't make for a very good educational environment, so I sent them to public school since we could not afford private.  

So for the last 2 years the children have been in the public school system.  I have seen much growth in them, but I've also seen where even the best teachers can have the best intentions but still fall short.  

I was still content in my choice of schooling up until about 3 weeks into this summer when there was a very noticeable change in the dynamics and peacefulness of our home.  I did not know why but it was like things just "grooved" again.  It took a few days for me to realize that it was the fact that they were once again working as a team, getting along, and the stresses of classroom life and peer pressure had eased.   

This was the beginning of the Lord talking to my heart in the direction I needed to choose for our family.  

My 'mental' arguments came down to this: I 

either had to homeschool all of them or none 

of them, for last year I did both 

homeschool AND public and I felt like I was 

homeschooling literally all day because 

once my public school kids got home they had 2 

hours of busy work homework, most of which 

they didn't understand because of how little 

they actually learned in the midst of their 

peers.

I also felt like I made my homeschooling child 

miss out on activities because I was always 

having to be home at certain times for my "in

school" kids. 

The public school my kids go to was rated #3 

in all of Corpus Christi's main schools (not 

charter schools) and they STILL failed to 

properly educate 3 out 4 of my children. 

That's sad. My 5th grader was stuck with kids 

on a 3rd grade reading and math level, and 

given spelling tests with someone spelling for 

her just so that she could feel the 

accomplishment of getting a good grade. Not 

ok!  

In the midst of making this decision, I had a 

friend tell me not to send my  oldest to 

middle school. She said day one of 

middle school, she came home asking her mom 

what a bl*w j*b was.  She said she got through 

it because she was in all advanced honors 

classes, but that so many of her peers didn't, 

especially ones with labels...another girl in 

a different state, told me she watched 

her middle school friends give out  

bl*w j*bs like Lolly pops behind lockers....

and while I'm not ignorant in thinking they 

won't learn about these things in time, age 11 

would not be the age I choose.

My 5th grader Faith, who was home 

schooled last year DID 5th grade work, so 

she'd be repeating 5th grade if I sent her to 

public. 

My 3rd grader Coco was the one who did well 

last year academically, but is begging to be 

Home schooled...

Malacai was in k4 last year and they 

labeled him with Asberghers, I requested that 

they test him, and come to find out he's just 

a genius (IQ at age 4 was tested at 140) who 

doesn't quite get the idea of other peoples 

"personal people space" 

Just this summer alone he learned all of the 

states, most of the countries and will quickly 

correct those who say Africa is a country. 

It's quite comical since he can't even 

pronounce the word "continent" correctly lol. 

The catcher for me though was the fact that 

within a month of being home, he stopped 

biting his nails/chewing his fingers until 

they bled. 

I know the social aspect and pressure of 

school was too much for him. I really look 

forward to watching him blossom this year.

I also look forward to just being a family as 

well. The stress and the fighting/bickering 

has dramatically improved within the first few 

weeks of summer. It's like they forget how to 

interact with their siblings who are older and 

younger than them because they are only ever 

around their peers. And let's face it, what 

adult is around their peers 8+ hours a day? No 

one that I know...

And yet even with all these mental positives, 

I still majorly waffled in my decision.  

I had family tell me things like: "its too 

much" "how can you possibly do it?" 

and "well, they need and education" and so 

much more. I doubted my ability and my 

patience level. 

Could I truly, daily die to myself to choose what I knew was best for my children? Obviously the answer was an astounding NO!  

Then pastor Don began preaching about dying to our flesh, and living the crucified life of Christ. One Sunday when he asked us to bow our heads and rededicate our lives to His service, I knew exactly in what way Christ wanted me to die...that being giving up my quiet mornings of coffee and Good Morning America, and my trips out with just the little ones to play dates, to do something so much greater: teaching my children with a God centered approach.  

Still, I could not bring myself to make the final decision of homeschooling them until yesterday when I opened my Bible and it was like God speaking into all the doubtful corners of my heart bringing hope and peace with this scripture: "The children of your house shall dwell secure; their offspring shall be established before you (Psalm 102:28)  

Then my eyes strayed a page over to this scripture: "I will ponder the way that is blameless.  Oh when will you come to me? I will walk with integrity of heart WITHIN my house; I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless.  (Psalm 101:2) In light of eternity, that coffee and Good Morning America seems pretty worthless no? lol

I'm not going to lie and say I'm not scared, or that I will have it all together.  I guarantee you I will not.  I promise there will be days I will want to give up, days I will complain, but in those days I know where my hope lies, in Him, knowing that He has called me.  And while I feel less than equipped, it is HE who will fill in the gaps and give me strength. 

We have chosen to do a Unit Study approach through My Father's World. This year we will be taking a trip around the world. The children will each get their own passport that will be stamped as we "visit" each country and learn all about their culture.  Then the children will have their individual levels in Math and English/literature. God has blessed me with a beautiful friend who also home schools, she has been a major blessing to me in every way.  Thank you Marsha :)

I am excited and will be photo-blogging weekly of our global adventures. 

This has been a blog post of baring my soul.  I know in moments of doubt I will look back at this post and be reminded of the whys and the reasons I chose to do this huge undertaking.  Anyways, if you made it this far you deserve a prize :)  THE END!~

Mother's Day

Mother's Day and instead of being sentimental I figured we mothers could all use a little humor.  So I'm going to make a list of what I've learned from being a mom...



Now these are some practical things, especially if you have more than one child lol

1.  Don't buy expensive socks, just don't.  They end up missing, or if you have children like mine, they will refuse to take them off, wear them outside, inside, and by the time they actually do remove them no washer, no tide with bleach will ever get them clean again.  Dollar store socks? yea Mama...

2.  If they throw a fit, Let them cry, walk away, take a breath and realize they'll stop soon enough lol

3. That peanut butter and jelly that you see in the jar together and you scoffed at it? Buy it.  I'll never go back to ordinary pb and j, with two separate knives and two jars, when you have 7 and sometimes upwards of 11 sandwiches to make, believe me you'll appreciate the ease.

4.  when you ask your children to do something, and then ask them again, and again, don't waste your energy yelling, just start speaking Chinese "Chung mai--chee chung chung chee" and I promise you, they WILL look at you, maybe like your a weirdo, but at least you've now got their attention.

5.  That day you're little girl gets into makeup, and writes all over the walls with it, covers her face in red lipstick, and ruins an outfit, don't swear or yell, take your camera out, and one day you'll thank yourself for the memory...(Unless of course it was Ulta makeup...then I'd say get a few curses out, then take a picture haha)

6.  Hair grows back. I promise...take pictures of that too, but really just never buy scissors, cause no matter where you hide them, I promise at some point they will find them.

7.  Train them early to wear flip flops, and buy them in bulk.  There will always be a time you're running out the door and can't find shoes for someone.

8.  If you nursed your boys, be prepared for them to always love "them" I was in church holding Malacai who continually kept nesting his hand there, when I asked him to stop, he loudly proclaimed "No Mom, just let me keep it in there"

9.  If you take pictures on your cell phone for your husbands eyes only, delete them immediately, cause those days they misbehave in church and you hand them your cell? That might just be the picture they decide to hold up for the entire congregation to see, proclaiming how pretty you are.  Yup...


10. If you're tired and emotionally drained, and your house looks like a tornado went through it, leave it, take a deep breath, it will all be there waiting for you tomorrow.  (and even if you do clean it, chances are it will need to be done AGAIN tomorrow--so leave it, make some tea and rest)

11.  Those kisses that wash your face with their spit? Enjoy them, soon enough kissing will be considered gross, and hey, lets face it, your face could use a cleaning lol

12.  Grocery shopping...you dread it, you know its coming, but you put it off.  After two days of $5 pizzas, you know you have to brave it with all your littles in toe...They begin pitching a fit, you start getting looks... smile or cross your eyes at the nasty people, take some goldfish off the shelf, open them, hand them out, and keep shopping.  Grocery checkout people understand when they see that empty container going through the check out!

13. And finally don't compromise on your beliefs that you feel strong on, even if everyone thinks you're a weirdo.  6 years ago, I began buying raw milk, grass fed beef, cloth diapered, put my babies in wool clothing because it breathed, wore my babies, nursed them exclusively for at least 9 months, and then kept going well past their first birthday, bought them amber teething necklaces, and refused to vaccinate them.  Back then people told me I was a hipee and a granola nut case...now? Its all the norm...

Being a mama is hard work, its 24-7, and unless you're rich, you rarely get a break.  But do realize that this too shall pass, and before you know it, they'll be your best friends. Make it special when you can, and when you can't, realize you're not superwoman. Your kids will appreciate a "real" mom more than a mom who tries to do everything "pintrest-ly" perfect, but is miserable.  And above all remember Who your strength is.  He loves you and is just a whisper away.  You don't have to carve out an hour somewhere in order to pray.  Play scripture on your phone, clean to worship music, and breathe your prayers, and you'll find His strength will be the joy that gets you through your day.

Happy Mothers Day 2012!

The Error of "Faith"

Coming out of the "word of faith doctrine" that we've been in for the last 8 years, I would love to share my true feelings of how destructive this teaching is, as well as be transparent in our error.


What exactly is faith? Is it belief that God exists? Is it trusting in things unseen? How do we get it, how can we acquire enough to "move mountains"?  If I'm struggling in my marriage, in my health, if I don't know how my electric will stay on next month, does that mean I have no faith? I used to believe that yes, people who were struggling were so called faithless.  They didn't have enough gumption to believe that their electric would stay on, or that their marriage would heal.  They obviously were NOT confessing enough, or saying the right scriptures over their lives.  And sickness? If their was a "word of faith believer" sick, you better believe that he was told he didn't have enough faith, or that he didn't tithe or give enough money to his Father in the faith.  Bondage...


I am ashamed to say that when my kids were sick, I'd pretend they were not.  Instead of being the motherly comforter, I'd tell them they needed to confess they were healed by the stripes of Jesus, that while they are experiencing symptoms, they should carry on and not act sick.  How stupid could I be? I was living in denial and pride. Christians who believe this way are no different then the humanistic people who follow the book "The Secret".  I've heard the stories, or should I say pride in the parents who follow this heresy say "My children have not been sick in 5 years, sure they've had symptoms, but they go in a matter of days" People? Get real! Most kids get sick with the common cold and are better in 2 days.  God has made our bodies to fight off pathogens and sickness.  Your kids would have gotten better whether you confessed a million times, prayed in tongues over them, or stood on your head for an hour.  Please understand, I am not mocking prayer.  Prayer is communication with a loving Father, But it is not a formula to get that new BMW or manipulate God and/or people into doing your wishes.

People in the different churches we were connected to would pull the same phoniness.  You knew they were falling apart on the inside, but when asked how they were they'd reply "I'm blessed and highly favored" with a huge fake smile plastered on their face.  Where did we go so wrong as Christians that we cannot be real?  Did that person truly believe that he would get help by putting "mind over matter"?  By saying lies instead of being real with a fellow brother or sister, and allowing them to share in his burden? Whatever happened to Galations 6:2: "Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the Law of Christ" ?


You see, to me, Faith is a simple trusting.  A trust that there is a God, who loves us so very much and wants what is best for us.  He is there at all times, and knows our every need and desire.  Faith is trusting in that Father, knowing His best for us will not be held back.  Can His best be sickness, grief, pain, loss, tragedy? I believe it can.  How many stories both in the Bible and in our own histories would we have to discount to say that those people missed Gods best, God's will? Would Joseph had delivered Egypt and Israel if he didn't have to suffer the betrayal of his brothers, and the beatings of that he endured while in slavery?  Would Ruth ever have met Boaz, the ancestor of Christ, if she had not suffered grief and loss, humiliation and hunger?

The health and wealth prosperity gospel has so many people blinded in complete error. They've replaced trust in an all knowing God with trust in man and his formulas.  It is a false doctrine of pride and accomplishment, not humility and servanthood.  To truly believe the prosperity/faith gospel, you would have to go through your Bible with a permanent marker and cross out over 50%. And yes, New Testament also!  Sermon on the mount? Acts? The stoning of Steven (because we choose our time of deaths right?) The beatings of Paul and Silas, the beheading of John the Baptist...all would have to be blackened out.  What makes us so special that we think we will avoid tribulation and hardships? Because we live in the 21st century? Because we paid our tithes, and gave to the man of God? Please.  We believed these very things, and would give thousands of dollars over the course of years, money we did not have, because we were told we would get more.  How about giving to give not to get?


Therefore, while we pray for our children to be healed when sick, that prayer also comes with a peace knowing that whether that child is healed or not, God is still on the throne, and His purpose will be done.  And while going through a financial hardship, yes, we can read scriptures on how God will supply our need,  but our trust has to be in Him not in formulas of how much we've given, how much seed we've sown, if the ground we sowed in was good ground,  or if we payed our tithes.  God will meet our  needs because He is good, and He promised to do so, not because of our works.  If we have a rebellious child, loving that child because God loves them, and they are a sinner just like us.  If our marriage is struggling, resting in the Lord knowing we are not alone, and have not taken Him by surprise.

How do we remove mountains by our faith? I'll tell you its not by confessing, or thinking positive, or lying to others about our true feelings. Its simply trusting.  Trusting that the God who created the universe, is the same God who knows the exact number of hairs on your head.  That He will always, no matter what you are going through, carry you through.  That while you may be suffering pain, He has promised to turn that pain around for your good for HIS glory.

You'll look back over your shoulder at that mountain of defeat, of sadness, of grief, loss and pain, and realize with God's help, you climbed that mountain one step at a time, and your stronger because of that climb. That my friend is "mountain moving faith"