The Monsters of Monday

By the time the busy weekend is over, I'm ready for a quiet day. But somehow Monday fails me every time. The monster comes out everywhere I look! The dishes spilling out from two days of neglect, the laundry looks like its going to suffocate me, the floor? well lets just not go there. And here I am, weary, tired, ready for a day of blissful nothingness, and yet the monster screams at me, taking on these different forms.

Then there's the overtired kiddos...

(Here's Malacai having a major meltdown

that landed him with some calming juice

and chocolate milk and bed before 6:30--haven't heard from him sense!)

who were in church for 6 hours, neglecting their naps, and therefore think they can neglect them Monday too...Monsters I tell you, cranky, cute, clingy monsters, all of them (ehem---us).

Some day Monday will be nice to me, but for now I'm just glad there's only one Monday this week...

Day 20...the twins...

October 2009 I became very ill. I began suspecting pregnancy right away, and sure enough I had a blaring (and I mean no denying line) on my pregnancy test. I knew my dates could not be wrong, so I immediately began thinking something was up, especially the sicker I became.

When we were dating our friend Paul Springer told us the number of children we would have and that we would have twins. Every pregnancy he would joke until we confirmed that it was ONE baby that this was the time we would have twins. I never really took him serious until those first few weeks of this pregnancy!!! At our church in NH, I had to stop my weekly teaching because I was so sick. I whispered to my friend Lynn why, that I was again expecting, to which she squeezed me and said "ITS TWINS!"

So the sicker I became, the more I joked around with the kids and Cisco that it had to be twins! Around 7 weeks along, I cried out to my Dr. who had delivered the last 2, and was quite familiar with me, (therefore he knew I was NOT a cry baby lol). I told him I was throwing up 12+ times a day. He asked me to come in, and when he examined me, he sent me to ultrasound. I laid on the table and immediately saw three blobs, to which I proclaimed "AHHH, its TRIPLETS!"

But thankfully the 3rd "blob" was just the yolk sac, and the nurse promptly said no, but there are TWO babies, to which Cisco said "TWINS" She was very nice and said "yes, twins means two babies" lol

She scanned me on that table for what seemed like forever. At one point I asked her if all was well, and she sighed and said "I can't find a membrane, the doctor will have to tell you more" So of course I became concerned. I went home and starting googling. Never really a good idea usually, but for me it allowed me to know what to pray against.

You see, there are two types of twins:

1. fraternal (Two separate eggs are dropped during a woman's ovulation, to which two separate sperm fertilize--these types of twins always develop their own amniotic sac and placenta) This is usually hereditary..

2. Identical (One egg drops during ovulation, one sperm fertilizes the egg, and at some point in the cell dividing process, the embryo splits into two separate babies.) With identicals, depending on how early or how late they split will either develop two separate sacs and placentas, or if they split late, they will be in the same amniotic sac and share a placenta. The later being much more of a complicated and dangerous pregnancy.

So that first night on google I realized that I was carrying identical twins, and that they were defined as Mono-Mono twins, meaning they shared the same sac, and the same placenta.

About 2 days after that ultrasound I heard from my Dr. who told me what I already knew. He told me to prepare for a high risk pregnancy, entering hospitalized bed rest by 24 weeks gestation so the babies could be continually monitored. He told me that they split late in the dividing process and that if they would have split one day later, they would have been conjoined twins (Miracle #1) He also told me he discussed my case with his board of Doctors, and they felt the babies had a 50% mortality rate, that being in the same sac was so dangerous because they could entangle each other in each others umbilical cords. (he gave me the analogy of two dogs being tied to the same tree, and what a mess that would be) He also warned me of twin to twin transfusion, meaning since they shared one placenta (one food source) there was a good chance that one baby would get all the nourishment, while the other basically starved...sounds like a positive phone call huh? lol

After that first ultrasound, I had weekly ones to determine the health of the babies. Being so sick I had plenty of time to do nothing but pray. My prayer was this

"Lord, you gave me these babies, you did not give them to me to take them away. If you can create such a miracle as one baby being split into two separate babies, both unique, but both sharing exact DNA, then you can certainly grow a dividing membrane to keep them safe and allow my placenta to nourish them both"

Again I took out Jackie Mize's book Supernatural Childbirth and began reading it over and over and over again.

On my 13th week ultrasound, 6 weeks after the first one, I laid down on the table, preparing myself to be there for a while, when suddenly I hear my Doctor say "Oh my, there's the membrane" I almost jumped off the table in joy and yes even a little bit of unbelief! I made him confirm it over and over again. But there it was, this miraculous whisper of a membrane, the thickness of a sheet of saran wrap, but just enough to keep my babies safe from each other's cords. Praise the Lord (Miracle #2)

The rest of my pregnancy was pretty much miserable. I was huge, I had no appetite, I had horrendous heart burn, nausea, and couldn't sleep from being so uncomfortable. At 35 weeks I was put on hospitalized bed-rest for the last weeks for the beginning of pre-eclampsia. God bless my husband and his father who held down the fort with 5 little ones!

At 36 weeks they felt it was time, so I was induced and was able to give birth naturally after a 6 hour labor. Both boys cried and nursed right away, a miracle for twins, and boys at that, born 4 weeks early (miracle #3)

I wish I could give you an account of their first year but I'd be lying if I said I remembered much of it. It honestly was a blur! I went through the blues, insomnia, nursing issues, and so much more, but the fact is I MADE IT! (miracle #4!) I was able to nurse both of them for 9 months and they both received my milk for at least one feeding a day till their first birthday (miracle #5!)

There were five, okay, six things I could not have made it through without (no judging here!)

1. The Lord, he truly was my Solid Rock and my Refuge

2. My husband who never left my side, and was always there to help change diapers, burp babies, and so much more...

3. My older children who were a big help in so many ways (thank you Katie, Faith and Rhema!)

4. My best friend Amanda, who also had twins the same age as mine. It was such a comfort knowing she was just a text away to complain to, ask a question, ask for prayer, share the cute things our babies were doing and to just be there...

5. PopPop and MomMom who helped so many different times, I don't know a grandfather alive who would take on what PopPop did--even so far as watching them when they were 10 months for an entire week when we were given a timeshare at disney!

6. (here comes the no judgment part): the occasional glass of wine for those extra stressful days and nights. I joke around with friends and say I never tasted alcohol before the twins, but really I meant it. I thank the Lord I allowed my mom to talk me into drinking an occasional glass at night to calm me down, de`stress me and allow me to rest up for the next full day (Love you Mom! :)

So there it is in a long nutshell...the twins are now 17 months old. Judah we call the sensitive lover. He is always second to do things. He cut his first tooth 2nd, he sat up second, crawled second and walked about 2 months after his brother took his first step. He loves to be cuddled, especially by the men in his life...daddy, pop pop, pepe and pastor lol. He's a true daddy's boy and falls on the floor in a complete mess of tears when daddy walks past him or leaves the house.

Zion is the daring one. He always stands in his highchair, went from walking to running in days, and has a sparkle in his eye that screams mischief. His favorite thing to do is make his brother laugh. (See video)

Even though at times my life is crazy, and some days I wonder if the volcanic mountain of laundry will consume me with its spilling over lava, I can't help but focus on the blessings.

7 healthy beautiful children, each unique, each a miracle...

I'll finish this post with two recent pictures of the boys and a link for pictures of their first 12 months...thank you for reading and encouraging me with your words, it means so much to know that my writing is blessing others, even in small ways!

Link to pictures:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2132004938337.2119224.1192416097&type=1&l=df299eac78

Day 17...Marriage and sanity

Tomorrow, I'll write more about the twins. But tonight I must preface their last year and tell you how grateful I am with the fact that we are still married! That may sound like a joke, but its not!

Now we've come through some challenges the first 10 years of our marriage, challenges most would have fallen away after enduring, but none so hard as the year and a half of the pregnancy and first year of the twins life. We truly felt like we were deserted. I know that sounds almost comical as we both have lovely families. And its not like the people in our lives
then are not in our lives now, most are, but God had them busy in their own lives, for in His sovereignty, He knew that in order for us to move into
His will and the next phase of
our life, He had to strip everything and everyone from
us, allowing us to depend completely on Him and each other.

There were moments after months of being up more than not at night with two fussy hungry boys, and unending days of 4 in diapers that we would, in desperation and exhaustion, look at each other and wonder if we'd make it without hurting someone.

And we did...we are alive, and happy. Happier then we have been in a long time, stronger in our relationship with God,
each other, and our children, and I am so grateful... for to us, we take the words of Pastor Timothy Keller to heart, and I'll leave you with them:

"The essence of marriage is a public, permanent, exclusive legal commitment that says:

"We're spending our life together and sharing every part of our life with each other"
Therefore the essence of true love is a commitment first-- to invest in someome else and meet their need--and a feeling second-."

I love you Babe :)

Day 16...Gloria-Grace Treasure

Gloria-Grace Treasure Victa, a true package of all three...Glory, Grace, and a sweet treasure.

Gloria was a complete bonus surprise! I was so happy with my baby Cai that I didn't even consider another, 2 boys, 2 girls what a perfect family! but God again had other plans. Her entire pregnancy was a joy, I was rarely sick, rarely tired, and her birth itself was miraculous. I had an eight hour labor and throughout the entire 480 minutes I didnt feel one bit of pain. I laughed and talked through the whole thing, and when she arrived it was after one push, and I was holding this wide eyed beauty. After a birth like that you can only say one thing, the glory of the Lord and His grace was there :)

Over the last three years, she has been Daddy's little shadow. She has him wrapped completely around her little finger, even to the point that he sacrificed some college loans to pay for a trip to see the desire of her heart, Cinderella and her castle.

When the twins arrived I was sure I was in store for some jealousy, but G-g just was like "hey, I know you two are here, but I ain't letting you take my place, I'm still the baby, I'm just a princess" lol. A princess for sure, but one who's not afraid to let her will be known. We say she has to be tough, after all she's sandwiched between FOUR boys! What else can I say? She's a grace filled glorious Little Sprite, and we are so grateful for our Treasure!

Day 15...Malacai Phillip (Happy Birtday!)

‎7 years ago around this time of year, we began trying again for a baby. Never did I think
It would be so hard. After a year, I gave up all hope thinking I was suffering from secondary infertility. People mistakenly think if you've had a baby then for that you should be grateful and that if you desire more, but can't have them, then you are seen as greedy not grieving...infertility in any form is a heartache no woman should have to bare...

Someone gave me the book "Supernatural Childbirth" by Jackie Mize. Over the next 4 children, I can safely say that the book changed my life.

The following February I discovered I was with child. I was so overjoyed. But 3 weeks after getting the plus sign, I began miscarrying.
I was heartbroken, i wanted another baby so bad, and to have lost this baby after a year and a half of trying was devastating..but again I took out the Mize book and began quoting the scriptures that blessed is the fruit of my womb and many many more. Next month I was pregnant with Malacai.

At 16 weeks and again at 30 weeks I had preterm labor and bleeding. During these scary times I'd pull out my Bible and my book and one verse I'd say over and over again:

"And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast its fruit before the time in the field, saith Jehovah of hosts." (Malachi 3:11 ASV)

(one interpretation of this verse, and the interpretation Jackie Mize uses is this: that the Lord is saying through his prophet Malachi, that if you are a tither he will rebuke Satan, and cause your fruit to not die, and to not come off/out early)

So during those frightening hospital visits, I quoted this scripture, for we have always been tithers and always will be...

Malacai was born healthy exactly 5 years ago today. His name means "My Messenger, and "Cai" means "rejoice"

He's all boy! He loves life and has the IQ of a 3rd grader in k-4. I wouldn't be surprised if some day he's a programmer at Apple for he's never met a game, computer, phone or iPad that he hasn't mastered yet. He keeps us laughing daily at the things thar come out of his mouth! He's bluntly honest and I could fill a book with the things he's said that make me blush haha

But when you look into his eyes you see Christ. His eyes are so full of wisdom, compassion, love, gentleness and kindness (and occasionally mischief!) 5 years later he makes us all rejoice, for he truly is a messenger to me, and I'm so grateful for him!

Day 14...Francisco Victa the Fourth (aka: COCO)

So, Coco...let's start with his Nick name. We get asked a lot, Why Coco? Well with four Francisco's and all of them still living, we felt he needed one, so we went through Nio, Franky, Francis, and when none of them fit, we said forget it and called him Francisco, but his very talkative sisters (age 3 and 2) could not pronounce it and it came out "Coco" lol. And it stuck. :)

I was so happy to have my boy after 2 girls, we were both on cloud 9, although he made his arrival 2 weeks late, and weighed in at a whopping 9lbs 15 oz! (and yes I delivered him naturally) He was so late he cooed in his hospital bassinet while meeting his Daddy. But through those first 6 months, I'd frequently hear a voice that he wouldn't be with us long, and I'd rebuke the fear and pray. I finally voiced it to my husband, and he said he also had heard that "voice"...so again we prayed.

On January 31, 2004 both of us got a terrible stomach bug, the worst we've ever had. I was recovering as Cisco was getting worse. I was finishing up nursing Coco when Cisco called me to come help him. Coco was asleep in my arms, so I placed him quickly in his swing, forgetting to buckle him in, to go help Cisco. After a few minutes I had a strong premonition to go check on him. When I did, I found that he had obviously woken up and attempted to get out of the swing, only he had a t-shirt type bib on, and as he scooted down, it caught on the swings crotch bar, hanging him. I found him lifeless, a blue ragdoll not breathing...you can imagine my complete shock and horror. I screamed to Cisco who called 911, and starting saying the name Jesus over and over. I had enough sense to start CPR, and thankfully we lived within a mile of both the local fire department as well as a small emergency room. They were in my house in 90 seconds. They saved his life (up untill our move, every time we went to that emergency room, they would ask about "their miracle child") anyways, they stabilized him, then flew him to Boston's Children's Hospital where they told us he would have brain damage from lack of oxygen. My parents and family met us there and immediately started a huge prayer chain, calling everyone who believed in the power of prayer...we spent 6 days there, our baby going from complete sedation, being told be had bleeds on tbe brain and on a respirator, being told he may not come out of it to being discarged with a perfectly healthy baby boy...can you tell we believe in the power of prayer??!

Coco is 8, and is a Daddy's mini-me. He has an amazing talent for anything athletic, and is also a great break-dancer...

We almost lost him, he could have suffered brain damage (though sometimes i do wonder-like when he was 7 and he cut his sisters beautiful blonde ringlets all off!!! What was he thinking??!! Haha) But I know God has an amazing future for him, why else would the devil try and take him out early? He's a special boy, and we are so thankful God won, he's alive and ours, and we are truly grateful

Day 13...Faith Abigail

oday is Faith's "Thankful" day ;) they are enjoying reading these themselves!

(You'll see a recurring theme over the next few days, the devil tried to destroy our seed at the beginning, for I truly believe he knows their future is so great)

So here goes...When Rhema was 4 months, we were sitting in church on a Sunday in Groveland Florida. Sis
Judy Langley began singing "Faith, faith, faith, just a little bit of faith" and I had a vision of a young girl with long black hair laying her hands on the sick and they were being healed. I remember squeezing Rhema as a confirmation that it was her, but I heard a voice say,
"no, she will also do greatness, but this one you see is another, you will have a baby girl and name her Faith, for she will increase your faith" About 3 weeks later I found that against all medical "odds" I was pregnant.

At our 20 week scan, they told me our baby girl had a growth in her brain, and that she would either be born with down syndrome or severe mental impairments. We had a follow up scan at 28 weeks, And I tell you, those were some of the hardest weeks as we waited. In our fear, we also had faith, and believed that God spoke to us about this child that we felt was supernaturally given to us.

Well, If you know Faith today, you know shes one of the brightest children, a child who at 4 was giving her Dad a discourse of why Judas betrayed Jesus and how although wrong, was part of the sovereign plan of God...I've never met a child who is so wise beyond her years, and at the same time burdened by this wisdom, this knowledge, for she takes things like world poverty and human suffering to heart. I thank the Lord for leading me to homeschool her this year, daily praying for those burdens she carries. Slowly i see her able to trust in the Lord and search her Bible (and pick her Dad's brain). As her Mom-Mom says "she's an old soul" and her Pop-Pop says "she's like talking to an adult, I can't pull one over on her like the others!!!" :)

Faith is my big helper and the twins second mommy, a blessing to us in such a tiny body (with that long black hair)...I truly believe the days are upon us where we will see her exercising those healing gifts i saw 11 years ago, for at no other time have we as a family been more hungry for the move of God, and in a place where so many others are as well...so watch out, we may just be raising the next Kathryn Kuhlman, and for being entrusted with such a girl, we are truly grateful...